Saturday, April 30, 2011

In Soviet Russia, Red Square Cheese eats you!

What: Tasmanian Heritage Red Square Cheese
Where: Tasmania – Australia’s addendum of gourmet goodies
Why: Because the proletariat needs cheese too!

All cheeses are equal, some are just more equal than others.

Introducing Red Square—the Lenin of rennin. It’s my first cheese, my first foray into sharing my dairy diary with you, dear reader.

This delightful orangey-white washed rind cheese promises to be every bit as enticing and subversive as it’s name suggests. It looks creamy and rich, but more importantly, there’s a decided olfactory hit that comes through the wrapping (Ooh! Such a delight to yours truly).
On first bite I taste the nuttiness that the initial smell had hinted to, and a rich dairy flavour that I might expect out of a good Australian brie. But where’s that revolutionary kick that I had expected?

Red Square’s online listing offers this inoffensive little caveat: “As with all washed rinds Red Square smells much stronger than it tastes.” I must agree. After selecting this little comrade from the cheese shop, I expected stinky and great things, but the flavour was lacking the Bolshevik bite I desired. It is velvety, to be sure, and it has a smooth and very persuasive flavour. But when I’m taste-testing reds in the bread, I expect something bigger. I can’t help but feel this is a cheese that would develop more flavour if allowed to age a little. The beginnings of a delicious cheese are here, but would benefit from some kind of five-year plan of maturation. However, for the average bourgeois table setting (do pass the muscatels darling, and let’s have a snifter of port as we discuss fiscal solvency) this cheese is certainly above board.

Serving notes? Just like McCarthyism, this cheese spreads easily.


  1. Hahahahahaha. You are a genius. What an awesome blog. Shit is way better than Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber.

    Pictures of cheese/cheese eating or it didn't happen.


  2. And by "TWO" I mean three. Yay!

  3. It's just like life, isn't it. Nothing ever tastes as good as it smells. Great work Claire!!

  4. Thanks guys! I need to get a camera before I can post pictures :(

    But in the meantime I'll try and post pictures that I can source on the net, just to give y'all an idea of visuals!